I know I am no special “blogger” or anything. But I do have feelings just like anyone else out there, and today I am going to talk about them.
I recently found out some interesting things that were going on around me here on the interwebs…and I am sure I was the last to find about it, and that’s fine, that part doesn’t bother me. The part that I am having a hard time getting over is the fact in general that it happened. I am going to try really hard not to mention names and not make this a big deal, but this is the first time I have ever experienced something like this (which, I hope is the only time. And I also hope this doesn’t really happen often to begin with) and I am still trying to process it all.
I knew a while back that I wanted to come back and start writing again. I knew lots of things were going to be happening, some big, some small, but I wanted to document them for myself. See, I don’t really see this “blog” as a blog; it is more of my place to hold my memories. Yes, I could easily just write this in a journal, or make this private (which, trust me, I have consider since all this happened) but for some reason, I don’t know, I just enjoy doing this. I enjoy reading other’s blogs a lot more, but I enjoy writing and telling my stories. I also knew that when I came back, I wanted to have an actual site, not just on blogspot. No reason really, just a step I wanted to take. I never dream of this to become a “thing” and be my “job” (that would be nice, but just don’t see that happening) and that’s perfectly fine. I never started out with that big of a goal to reach; my goal is just to actually post here. Seems to be easier said than done some days. I also know that this place is not perfect (again, I am okay with that) and I don’t intend for it to be. Believe it or not, I actually do this thing for me, no one else. I know people say that all the time and some mean it and some don’t. I do. Period.
Back to the issue at hand. I know nothing about designing and HTML or how any of this works, so I knew that I would have to find someone to help me. And I did. Just kind of stumbled upon it and wasn’t def not expecting it at the time. I rolled with it, seemed legit. Things happened, I was happy with it (no lie, I liked it) it was simple, no frills, no fuss. And everything was okay for about a week, then everything came crashing down. This person that helped me, I trusted. I gave them information that not everyone gets (shame on me? Maybe). But does anyone expect a person that they paid to provide a service for you to go ape shit? Sorry, but that’s kinda how I see it. I used my hard earned money to do something special for my blog. I didn’t lie, cheat, steal or anything for my blog. I don’t agree with everything that was said to the process of this, but I honestly don’t know the whole situation. I do know that I was lied to, and that, that is not okay. I feel like something was stolen from me. I talked on the phone to this person and was told (what I now know) lie upon lie upon lie.
When something like that happened to a person, do you feel sorry for them? Do you wish them bad things? I at first felt sorry and wanted to help. But that’s because I believed the story. (Me = gullible) But the more I heard/read the more upset I got. I was mad that someone would do all those things to people and not really care or have any remorse about it. And then pretend to be other people to make the original person sound better. Totally not cool in my book.
I think the point has been made. And now I want to take the next step and get this person out of my life for good. No ties to them. And I am working on that at the present moment. So patience is needed at this time…and for more reasons than just this.
I just hope that no one else has to experience this…the thoughts, emotions, feelings are not something I thought I would ever have to deal with. And I think about that dating commercial on TV, where the guy said he was French, and obviously wasn’t. “Because if it’s on the internet, it has to be true. Bonjour.” I think I can say that I have learned a lesson here, not one I thought I would have too, but learned none the less.
Thanks for listening.